Sometimes this is just the way it is

My Birthday

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 19:56:44 GMT

I'll be up at the Crystal Bar in Holt at about 8 this Saturday night to celebrate my birthday so anyone who wants to come up is welcome!

Monday, again

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 16:11:55 GMT

I haven't posted an entry in live journal for about forever. It seems like most of the stuff that I post is in myspace now even though I have this, a myspace, and a facebook. That's a lot of stuff to keep up with! Anyways this is going to be one long week for sure. I'm working tonight until 5 then I have class until 8. I just got an elliptical machine and a recumbent bike in my spare bedroom so hopefully I'll have enough energy left to go and use them after class. Tomorrow, same routine except class lasts until 9. Wednesday I'm working 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Thursday I have a half day and get out at 12:30 which will be very nice. Friday same 9-5 work schedule and then I work hockey from 6-8:30 and then on Saturday I have the day off which is very exciting. My parents are also taking me to the Outback on Saturday night for my birthday which is going to be very yummy. It kinda sucks because my sister is leaving me on my b-day to go to Arizona so she won't be joining in on the festivities this year like usual. But after the outback I'm going to the Crystal Bar, so if anyone wants to come out and celebrate my birthday I'll be there probably at like 8 or something. I'm sure there will be drunken Karaoke and all that fun stuff! I figured I best celebrate my b-day on Saturday seeings that Super Bowl Sunday is my real birthday.

I think for the super bowl we're going to Greg's friend Jay's house or something. That should be pretty fun even though I probably won't know very many people. But apparently he's got like a projection T.V. or something which would be awesome to watch the Super Bowl on. It'd probably be pretty sweet to watch it on my big t.v. on an HD channel at home but oh well.

Well I hope everyone else is doing good and is going to have a great week!

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 15:49:40 GMT

Only one week until Martinsville!!!!!

Update

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 19:56:58 GMT

So I'm sitting here at work really bored and I have an hour and fifteen minutes left until I get to leave so I figured I would update. Things are going pretty well right now. I've mostly been working (as usual) and I'm also taking some classes. I have class tonight from 5:40-7:30. I'm hoping that gets out early because it seems like there are always things to do. Now I have a little bit more time because I'm done with softball on Tuesday evenings so I guess that's a little bit more time for some homework. I'm really bummed that softball is over because I had a ton of fun playing. I can't wait until the spring time so that I can start playing again!

I finally got a couch and a love seat for my living room this weekend. It's so exciting that I no longer have to use a futon for a couch! So now I have an entire living room! I have a couch, love seat, coffee table, and a bad ass T.V.! It's nice to finally feel like I have my own things in my own place. I really like it. I feel like I'm finally making it on my own and I have my own space. I mean, I'm completely broke all the time but I guess it's worth it to have my own stuff.

So too all of the people that I really don't see that much of anymore, I'm really sorry. I'm trying to make time for things but it's so hard when I'm working at Cooley during the week and L&L on the weekends and still taking classes. Things will get a little bit easier in November because then I won't be paying my rent all on my own so I'll have some more money to hang out with. So I will for sure be able to do stuff then. I've also been trying to save up money so that I can go on vacation in October. We're going to the NASCAR race in Martinsville VA. I wanted to go to Myrtle Beach for the rest of the week but now that we have Shadow we have to come home so that she doesn't have to stay at my parents for too long. We're still having issues with her getting along with other dogs. I've been working really hard with her but I guess I'll have to step up the training seeings that she has to go over there and stay in less than four weeks.

Other than that not too much else is going on. I hope everybody is doing well and having fun!

Just felt like updating

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:41:09 GMT

I still don't have any pictures up on here of my doggy yet. Unfortunately my laptop decided that it hates me and my motherboard took a crap on it almost two weeks ago. Of course it's from Best Buy so the stupid geek squad morons are doing there thing and shipping it across the country to get "fixed". I'm really hoping to have it back soon but I most likely will have lost about four years worth of pictures because I'm pretty sure they will re-format the whole thing. So I'm pretty pissed off about all of that. But I will take some new pics. of the doggy and get them up here because she's soooooo cute!

After yesterday I'm convinced that the dog is trying to kill me. I was walking her with my mom and my parents dog and I had given her some slack on her leash because she was walking very well with Maddie and at one point I turned my head to say something to my mom and right at that moment she just happened to see a squirrel that she just had to have. So she yanked the leash really really hard and I couldn't catch my footing and down I went right onto the pavement. SO now, my right knee is all ripped up as well as my right elbow and I have a big gouge taken out of my left palm. I got to finish walking the dogs with blood dripping down my leg, elbow and my left hand. So I pretty much looked like I had just came out of battle or something. It was just wonderful.

THEN later that night as I'm getting out of my Blazer at the apartment I was trying to hold her and a basket of laundry at the same time (Ya think I would have learned my lesson from before) and she see's a dog that I don't and all of a sudden she does the same thing to me once again. This time luckily she just almost pulled my finger off instead of me taking a nosedive into the cement. So she takes off running toward the other dog and I throw down my laundry and take off after her. I'm pretty sure I've never ran so fast in a pair of flip flops in my entire life. By the time I get over to them they're starting to fight with each other. I felt so bad for the other dogs owner because she's standing there like flipping out. So I grab Shadow and pull her away from the other dog and make her sit down. As I look around I notice a bunch of white fur on the ground that she apparently had ripped out of the other dog. I felt soooooo bad so I was standing there apologizing to the girl for like 10 minutes. Fortunately for me she was super nice about the whole thing. See, Shadow has gotten better around other dogs but once they start growling at her or bare some teeth she goes into whoop ass mode. Luckily we finally got her to the vet so she's all caught up on her shots and I can schedule her to get spayed. I'm really hoping that's going to help with her being a little turd like she's being. Other than that she's a really good dog though. If anyone has any places that they know of that Spay dogs and don't cost a fortune please let me know because I don't really want to pay an arm and a leg to get her spayed.

Other than my doggy nothing too exciting is going on. I'm on a softball league now that plays at the Aquatic Center on Tuesday nights. It's only a six week league because we do double headers every week. It's actually a lot of fun. I'm still working on my fielding skills but I can bat pretty well. We won both games last week and even had to mercy the other team both games. I like games like that!

I also go out there every Wednesday night to watch the guys play on the guys only league. So if anyone wants to go out to the Mayfair in Haslett we sometimes go after those games. Plus then you can come over to my apartment and see my new awesome T.V.! So yeah, just let me know if you ever want to come out with us.

Doggy!!

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 18:31:50 GMT

So we got our doggy! I'm sooooo excited. She's a really cute black lab mixed with what they thought was a chow. She looks like a full black lab though. I'll be posting some pictures of her here really soon, well whenever I get lazy and pull them off of my camera. Her name is Shadow. The guy we got her from told us they named her Shadow because she follows you around like a Shadow, which is true. But she's trained soooo well for only being two years old. I guess the person that owned her first when she was a little puppy abused her because she's got a tooth missing in her mouth from getting kicked in the face. I really don't know how people can do that to an animal! Then these people that we got her from had adopted her because the guys wife had worked at the animal shelter and fell in love with her. Well I guess his wife died a year ago from cancer and him and his daughter really didn't have time for Shadow so they were just looking for nice people to take her. So now she's with us and she's doing really well! It's kind of nice having a little bit of an older doggy that's already trained. She's such a sweetheart! It's exciting to have a dog again because I've really missed having one around. She hasn't been spayed yet so we'll have too do that in the next few months. She's also a little bit aggressive around other dogs and I'm not sure if that's because she hasn't been spayed yet or if that's just the way she is but I'm trying to figure out a way to break her of that. I'd really like her to get along with my parents dog because we're going on vacation for a week in October and again next May and I was hoping I could con them into watching her. But yeah, I'll for sure post some pictures really soon!

Psychic

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 17:54:15 GMT

So I'm having this "Psychic party" This Saturday at my apartment. I was just wondering if anybody would be interested in having a reading. It's $45.00 for 45 minutes. I've been to a couple of this ladies parties and she's REALLY good. I have seven people that are coming right now and I'm trying to get at least eight. This lady actually works with the police in Beaverton MI and helps them solves unsolved cases that they have. So if you're interested in coming over and having a reading done let me know.

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 18:58:49 GMT

Fun times last weekend in

So I just wanted to take my own picture

I love the scenery there!

The water was really choppy the first day we got there

My mommy and I and it was VERY windy!

This is my cousin Jessica and my mom at dinner

This is my cousin Jenica's baby, Kiersten celebrating her 1st b-day, isn't she cute?? (She's named after me!)

Here's me and the baby together

This is our dock outside of our timeshare

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 13:52:55 GMT

So I'm at work right now waiting for my clients to get here and I'm really bored. I've already checked my mail three times, checked my myspace, facebook, and now this. How pathetic! So I work today until 12:00 and then I have to work at L&L until 5:00. What a long Saturday! After that though I'm having a girls night out with Sarah and Charyl. We might be going to Grand Rapids because one of Sarah's friends boyfriends works at a bar there or something. Hopefully it won't get too wild because I went out on Thirsty Thursday and had WAY to much fun. That's what happens when I sit around drinking with my sister Shannan. I swear, my family is a bad influence!

So last Wednesday night I played softball on this co-ed team that my friends play on. This one girl that played before moved so I subbed for her. It was actually so much fun. I played right field so not one ball got hit out to me but it was still fun. I got up to bat three times and I hit the ball on the first pitch every time! The first two times I hit pop flies and they got caught in the infield but the third time I went up to bad it went really far into the outfield. I was so proud! I even got one of the guys in. We ended up being tied, so we played an extra inning and we won by one run! I was so excited! So now I'm for sure going to be playing on the fall league that starts in mid August. All the guys swore they were putting me at short stop because the girl that plays short stop right now was missing a lot of ground balls. I don't know about that though because ALL of the balls go to the short stop. That's just way to much action for me! I'm going to need a lot of practice for that.

I'm all moved into my apartment. I love my apartment, it's soooo nice. It's really quiet around there too so I can get lots of peaceful sleep. The trails that are right outside of my apartment are pretty nice with the exception that right when you start walking on them you get attacked by deer flies. Those things are so annoying. But I'm going to be taking my bike out there soon so they won't be able to catch me!

I'm going to be in Cadillac next weekend for my yearly family reunion. I'm pretty excited to go because I always have a lot of fun with my cousins. They bring up there jet ski's and we have a blast! So yeah that's pretty much what's been up with me. My clients just got here so now I have to go. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

update on my life

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 15:22:07 GMT

It's honestly amazing how much your life can change in just one month. For along time I thought I knew exactly what I wanted with my life and now everything is completely different. Right now I'm just taking some time for myself to figure out exactly what I want with my life. I kind of feel like I'm starting a new chapter and it's kind of exciting. On Tuesday I move into my new apartment with Ashley. We should be good as long as we don't kill each other. Well we've lived together for 18 years so I figure we'll manage. I'm actually really excited to finally have a place that's "mine". I can do whatever I want with it and that feels good. I've also been keeping my eyes open for a puppy. I was going to get a dog from the pound but I think I would miss not raising a puppy of my very own. It's very rewarding to be able to start from the beginning with a dog. The next dog I get after the puppy I'm going to adopt though because it's also very rewarding to save a dog from the pound. There's this posting in sourcads.com that has blue heeler puppies which I've wanted for a very long time. I really want to go look at them now but everyone keeps telling me I should wait a month or so. It's hard because you barely ever see that kind of dog for sale around here. I see them a lot more down south because they're cattle dogs. So I'm having a battle with myself right now on if I should wait or go look at the puppies. I know that if I go look at them i'll be leaving with one because they are sooooo cute. I do know for sure that I'm getting a female puppy and I'm naming her Valvoline (Yes I'm that much of a redneck). It'll be hard to potty train a puppy because my apartment is on the third floor, but I think I'm up for the challenge.

My apartments have a ton of acres of trails and stuff so I can go biking a lot which I'm looking forward too. They also have an indoor heated pool and hot tub, which my nephews have assured me they will be taking full advantage of. I got to cancel my gym membership because it has a gym, volleyball court, and basketball court. Needless to say I'll be able to keep myself busy out there. One of the trails out by my apartment connects to the park where I'll be playing softball this fall. I'm finally going to play on a co-ed softball team! That excites me because I've been wanting to play again for a really long time. I'm also kind of nervous, but hopefully I won't suck. I've been practicing at the batting cages and playing catch and stuff to get the hang of it again. It's been nice doing active things outside, I like it. I really need to go out and work on my golf swing so that I can eventually play 9 holes with my dad. That would be nice, but I'm terrible. I'm also going to start playing Tennis here pretty soon. I have a racket and no idea how to play. It's ok, I love learning new sports. I've been doing a lot of stuff lately and keeping extremely busy. I can't remember the last time I actually sat down and watched T.V. Well, the fact that I've been working 40 hours a week at cooley and then 14 hours on the weekend at L&L helps to keep me really busy also. Now that I have my own place and all those bills though I have to work all the time to be able to afford it. I like both of those jobs though so it's all good. But if anyone gets bored I sample yummy things like steak and other stuff out at the Carriage Hills L&L so you should come see me! I feel like I haven't seen a lot of you in a long time and that makes me sad. Maybe because of what's going on it puts some of you in an awkward position and I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry about a lot of things right now but I'm really just trying to find and figure out what makes me happy. I just figure that everything has to happen for a reason. So there has to be a reason as to why things are the way they are right now. I don't know what will come out of everything but I have a feeling everything will be ok eventually. I just keep taking everything in my life right now one day at a time. For once I'm not trying to look down the road five or ten years, I'm just trying to get through today. Eventually I know that I'll figure my crap out and figure out what to do but for right now I'm completely clueless. Well I think I'm done rambling now and I think that's pretty much the update of my life. I hope everyone has a good weekend!

Yippie Skippy, it's Friday!

Fri, 04 May 2007 13:13:50 GMT

I've decided to do a quick update seeings that it is 8:43 a.m. and I'm the only person at work for a good ten minutes still. I'd like to start off saying that I"m so happy now that it's getting warmer outside. If anyone ever wants to go on a bike ride on the river walk, or just go for a walk or something let me know, because we live super close to the river walk now. Everything is going pretty darn good at the moment. I'm so happy to be in the new house, and all settled in. Pretty soon we get to start on the privacy fence for Delco. I'm hoping after we get that done I can adopt another doggy! So they can be play mates. Of course, after the fence we'll have to put in the french doors on the back of the house and the deck. That's pretty much the summer goal, is to get all of that done.

In two weeks My friend Sarah and I are going to Tennessee for the week! I'm so excited because I think it will be a lot of fun. We're spending two nights in Pigeon Forge and then spending three nights in Nashville! We're staying right on Music Rowe in Nashville so we'll be able to walk everywhere. I can't wait to get out of here for Five whole days yay!!! While I"m gone Dan will be going to Vegas for eight days for work. He's lucky that it happened to land on the same week I was going to TN or else I would be flying down there to stay with him and get my gamble on! I haven't been to Vegas since I was 8 years old. Oh well, there's always next year I suppose. Other than that I really have nothing else planned for the summer except for my yearly trip to Cadillac for my family reunion weekend at the end of July. That's always a pretty good time also. It's alright though, since getting the house we're both pretty broke and can't really afford to do very much. I guess most of the summer will just be spend doing the stuff on the house that we want to do, and enjoying the nice weather.

I need to start using my camera!

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 20:52:55 GMT

Last night was pretty much a completely awesome night. I saw so many people that I don't see very much. It really makes you realize how much you really do miss everybody. I'm so happy that Laura and Heather decided to come out with us. Hopefully next time Heather won't have to work in the morning so there shall be more Slutty girl scouts or skanky girl scouts or whatever the hell there called! All I know is that there's a whole lotta thin minty goodness! We didn't end up staying at the Crystal for Mardi Gras because that place was packed. It was impossible to even get in the door. IT's never a good thing when you walk in like 5 steps and 50 year old men won't leave you alone, GROSS. So after being mauled for like 3 minutes by gross old men we went to Champions. There, we were boughten a round of drinks by some "motherly" lady. I think she just liked having someone to talk to for a little while. Then we played like 3 hours of photo hunt. Ha, Crazy photo hunt, why do you rule my life when I'm drinking? While doing all of this I found out that my little Laura is a freaking tank! It just cracks me up how much she can drink. Ha, must be a gift. :o)

Later Swaynie and Griff came and picked us up (Thank you, I love you two!!) to take us back to Zack and Lindsey's townhouse. Once we got there there was lots of Country singing and beer pong gaming. I don't think I can actually play beer pong but I like to interfere with people's games! It really was a very good time. I didn't even get to bed until like 4:30 a.m. which is insane for me. I think pretty soon myself, Charyl, Laura, Heather, and Lindsey need to go out to the bar. Griff needs to hurry up and turn 21 so that she can join in on the festivities. Pretty soon!!! Maybe a trip to Canada needs to be taken, Girls night out? Then Griff can come!! Girls nights are probably the best! Well, the race is now on and I have a pizza that just came out of the oven so I will say bye.

New house

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 15:32:45 GMT

So me and Dan spend the first night in the new house last night! It was sooooo great. It's so nice to finally have our own space that we can do whatever we want with. We moved most of the big stuff yesterday afternoon after the closing. The two of us moved the big stuff alone so needless to say I'm extremely sore today. I still have more stuff that needs to go over to the house. I'd like to be completely moved in by the end of the weekend. It'd be nice to have cable and stuff but that might have to wait until next week.

Today I'm on the lookout for a new king size mattress. We thought that the one in the Pole barn was a king, but it was actually a queen. So we smashed the queen size up the stairs last night and now we're going to have to bring it back down this afternoon and attempt to get a king size up the stairs, it should be VERY interesting. Most of the stuff in the house is like brand new which is kind of nice because it's in really good shape. The people we bought it from did kind of like a flip with it. They did a good job. I'll have to go through and re-clean after we get everything moved in because there's dirt everywhere from the nastiness of the weather outside coming in on our shoes.

Poor Delco didnt' know what was going on last night. It was kind of sad because he was up whining and crying ALL NIGHT LONG. It sucked, becuase I have a really bad cold, so I feel terrible anyways, and I was completely exhausted from moving in yesterday AND I have to work till noon this morning. Needless to say I'm really tired right now. And today will repeat yesterday with moving moving moving. It's all worth it though because I'm really happy that this is finally happning, it's been a long time coming. Life is good right now.

It's a christmas update!

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 14:52:48 GMT

Since I haven't updated in forever I decided to take a few minutes and do it today. First of all Merry x-mas everyone!!! I honestly have spent a radiculious amount of money on x-mas this year, but I love giving people presents so it's well worth it.

This week will be an extremely layed back one at my work. I have three x-mas parties at work! How great is that? I get to leave work at 11:30 today and go to one of the lawyers house for a big ol' shindig. I also went to Dan's work party on Saturday night out at Eagle Eye. That was actually pretty fun. He works with some pretty cool people.

Right now we're working on putting an offer on a house in Lansing. It's so exciting. If everything goes right hopefully we'll be in a new house within the next month! It would be great! That would probably be the best x-mas present ever. It's got this HUGE garage and a nice big backyard for Delco to run around. I'm hoping when we move in we might get another dog so Delco has a friend to play with! This time I'd really like to get a big dog. I have no idea what kind but I don't really want a small puppy. They're cute, but a big pain in the butt to train. I don't know how Delco will take to a new dog because he's kind of jealous but I figure that he will adjust eventually.

I"m kind of bummed because I won't be going to Florida this year. I'm so used to going every winter that when I don't go winter seems extra long. Dan and I are going to Bristol in March though for the Nascar race. We're going to go for 5 days this time instead of three so we can actually have some time to see some stuff in Tennessee. It's a vacation, but I'd still really like to go to florida. If I really don't go this year it'll be manadatory to go next year. Guess I'll just have to wait till summer to be warm!

Well this was pretty random and i'm sure I have more to say but I am at work right now and I have stuff to do. I hope everyone has a great christmas!!

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 19:59:30 GMT

I just picked up my brand spankin new 07 Trailblazer today!!!!

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 23:06:07 GMT

Go-Karts tonight, that should be fun......maybe........

I don't want to have a subject

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 13:36:41 GMT

SO today's my sister's b-day, HAPPY B-DAY ASHLEY!!! We're going to Cheeseburger's in Paradise for her b-day dinner tonight. Of course we will be having a Coldstone cake for desert. If you haven't had a Coldstone cake before you should because they're amazing! We are also celebrating her b-day by my other sister Shannan and I taking her to Canada this weekend. We're staying at the Radisson. I haven't been to Canada in like a year and a half so I"m pretty excited about it. It's so much fun going to all the bars and just having a sister night. I'm kind of bummed though because I won't be going to the NASCAR race this weekend. I had the whole Canada thing and Dan is in the middle of turn so we were just both way to busy to go this year. It kinda makes me sad when there's a race in Brooklyn because I always want to be there. Oh well I guess we'll just save up some money and go somewhere supersweet next season.

I went to the Big N' Rich concert featuring Cowboy Troy this weekend with my friend Sarah. We had such a blast. I kinda figured it was going to be lame becuase I'm not a huge Big N' Rich fan but I think they probably put on the best concert I've ever been too. I was very impressed by it. It was at the Jackson County fair so I got to be in the fair atmosphere. I love it, it always puts me in a really good mood, like when I was a kid.

I was really bored at work yesterday so I finally made a Myspace. It was actually kind of fun. I pretty much have no idea how to work my way around it or anything so my background is still all lame and stuff. I guess I'll have to figure that all out to make it better. I like posting my pictures on there and looking at everyone elses. Sorry, I'm just a little behind the times I know because everyone else has had a myspace forever.

Well that's all I can think of right now, I hope everyone has a great wednesday!

You're cordially invited

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 01:49:44 GMT

So I"m having a Mary Kay party on August 14th at 6:00 p.m. It's at this ladies house in Dansville. So if you want to come let me know becasue we are going to car pool in my dad's van from my parents house at about 5:40 p.m. Everyone should really go because it's pretty sweet! I just went to one tonight at We got like makeovers. We exfoliated and everything so my face feels SOOOOO Soft. So come on guys, support me and come to my party.....everyone's invited!!!

Yet another update!

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 16:52:02 GMT

Wow this is like three updates in three days, can you believe it? I'm really trying to actually update more often because I like to go back sometimes and read about stuff that I was doing and I can't do that if I never update. So I worked today for three hours. That's not to bad but it still kind of sucks going into work on a saturday. At least I have tomorrow off though. I'm waiting for Ashley right now because we're supposed to be going to P.F. Chang's for lunch (YUMMMM) then shopping in Eastwood for some "Professional" clothing that I can wear to work. Well, I won't complain because I love to do me some shoppin!

I think this afternoon Dan and I are coming over to my parents so that he can finish some stuff up for my dad. That works out pretty well because while he's doing that I can lay out in the sun! Now that I"m working all the time I'm starting to get kind of pasty and I don't like that very much. Hopefully later we'll be able to go see a movie or something. I still haven't seen, "Pirates of the Carribbean" yet, can you believe that?? So if he doesn't go with me I may just have to go by myself because I still want to see it. Well Ashley just got here so it's off to P.F. Changs we go!

Today's the same as tomorrow, nothing changes

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 17:17:15 GMT

I got to leave work today at noon because I'm working for three hours on Saturday. It sucks to have to work on Saturday but then again it's kind of nice to get the afternoon today off. It's been a major adjustment for me this week from going to not working at all to getting back into the 9-5 thing. I honestly figured that once I got a job then my life would be more normal again. I kinda figured that things would just get fixed because I have a job. That's kind of a stupid way to think about things as I'm realizing right now. Apparently working all day still doensn't fix everything that's after work. I wish there was just this magic thing that made everything better.

It seems like somethings get better for awhile and then they go back to bad again. It seems like a certain thing has been not real great for awhile now. I feel like there is absolutely nothing I can do about it but sit here and just keep going through my day. I have so many feelings and I dont know how to express them....it totally blows. It seems like my brain is always going and going and I can't shut it off. I feel like i'm all grumpy becasue of that fact that I'm so exhausted all the time. I dont know how I can get 7-8 hours of sleep a night and still feel so exhausted.

I seriously try to do everything that I can for other people. I try to make time for everyone. I decided this time, even though I'm busy I will make time for my family and not, not see them for a month or something. Even though i'm trying to do all of this there's only one thing I want in the entire world that i've always wanted and I really don't think I'm ever going to have it. I put so much effort into it and try to fix things but yet it's never enough. I feel like I'm drowning and no one can help me. That's how hopeless I feel right now. I am who I am and I can't change that. Apparently who I am will never be good enough.

10 more mins. till i'm outta here

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 20:49:18 GMT

So here I am posting from work again, SWEET. Anyways, today is my dads 61st B-day! Apparently the families going to Finley's for dinner. The only reason we're stuck going there is because of the stupid "Free meal on your b-day" thing that they do. I really don't want to go there because I've decided that place sucks. The last few times I went there the service was terrible. Plus have the time they give you nasty food. Oh well it's free dinner, so I guess I can't say to much. We do have a coldstone cake for desert though! I had to go get my daddy one because they're kind of amazing! It's the oreo one with the mint ice cream and the whipped frosting. I can almost taste it now!!!

I think that's pretty much it for my super exciting night tonight. Maybe I'll be super awesome and go to bed at.....um.....9:30!!!! That sounds great to me! I love going to bed nice and early now that I'm working again. I have to be able to be at the gym by 6:30 a.m. for a grueling Spinning class before work tomorrow. That should wake me up for the day.
Now that I'm working again I don't have any time to lay out in the sun for 2 hours a day. So now I'm gonna have to go to the gym and tan :o( boooooooooo.
I mean I dont wanna get pasty or anything!! I think this is it for my pointless post of the day.

a bum no more!

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 20:47:25 GMT

So I started my new job yesterday. It seems to be going pretty well, I like it. I work with some pretty nice people that are fun to talk to. Oh for those of you that don't know I work at Cooley Law School. I'm an administrative assistant. I think it sounds pretty important to work at "Cooley Law School". It's always interesting to start a new job because you have to learn a ton of new things. This is the first job I"ve ever had where I can actually access internet websites! It's just crazy. I finished all of my stuff today so now I'm just passing the time until 5:00 by updating my L.J. Imagine that, updating at work! SIMPLY AMAZING! Just 17 more minutes till go time.

Yesterday went super fast, today was a little bit slower. It's not like laying out in the sun everyday but at least I'm actually back to making my own money and not being a bum on society....go me.

Ashley came and kept me company at lunch time today. We went to the Pita Pit (YUMMY!!). I also ran into this dude Barry (He owns like all the Blimpies) that I haven't seen in like 7 months. He used to come into the bank like everyday. I love working downtown because I can see all my peeps that used to come into the bank that I've missed. Plus being downtown is just sweet because on your lunch you can walk (and not use that $3.15 a gallon precious gasoline). Plus, there's a Beaner's a block away, what else do ya need???

The only thing that sucks is that it's a bitch getting out of downtown at 5:00 because like a million other people are also trying to get out of here. Oh well, it's just like old times. Not to much else has been going on, just wanted to update and let everyone know that I'm actually working now!

Best weekend ever

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 04:05:06 GMT

So I never did post pictures from when Dan and I went to Pocono a couple of weeks ago, so in an attempt to make myself feel better I will take the time and post a few. What an

This was our convoy from the highway to the racetrack at 5:00 in the morning

At Pocono they have the biggest women's bathroom ever. I didn't wait in line once all day! In a track full of thousands of people that's amazing!

It was pretty cold all day for the race, so here I am getting ready to head toward some of the festivities bundled up in my Kasey Kahne hoody of course.

This was our little tailgating area before and after the race that was right next to the truck.

I just like this picture

Dan's with one of Jr's show cars

What would a race be without seeing Kasey Kahne's car ready for action?

This is some of the scenery on the way home. Pennsylvania is absolutely beautiful and I would love to go back there again.

Tomorrow's another day

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 12:16:00 GMT

I went to the drs yesterday for a physical and they gave me a meningitis shot. It did't sound so bad at first until the nurse told me it was a muscle shot, then I knew i'd be in pain. So here I am laying here this morning practically unable to move my arm because extreme pain moves through it everytime. Stupid muscle shots. I couldn't even go to spinning this morning at the gym. Oh well that's only the fifth day of no gym in a row. I've kind of lost my ambition to want to anything but sleep. But I'm not really eating very much either so I guess it equals itself out. Things are kinda crappy right now. I hate that, it's like one minute I'm laughing and I feel ok and the next I'm crying, complete downer. I feel like my two best friends are unavailable and they are. One I can't explain because I don't really want to get into the details about it and the other is up north for like 8 days with her b/c, it kinda sucks that it's in the time that I need her most. Oh yeah, where they are up north she gets absolutely no cell phone signal. So I probably won't get to talk to her until next Sunday, lets see if I last that long without a complete emotional breakdown. Well I guess I'm kind of hoping that things get worked out by then b/c I dont know how much more I can take of feeling like this, It's like being empty and slowing dying inside. The sad thing is is that it's only been a couple of days, I feel like such a weakling. I just keep trying to believe that in my heart things will work out.

Wow this post is an upper. I guess I'll talk about the 5 x-rays I also had to have taken at the drs. I've been having tons of headaches for the past few months so they decided to x-ray my nasal passages or something. I'm supposed to hear back about that sometime next week I think. I thought they should have done an MRI to make sure I don't have a brain tumor or something but apparently they think this will tell me why I'm having headaches. Ha sorry for the depressing post, I had to get some of it off my chest though.

There's nothing better than laying in the sun, floating in a pool

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 21:54:00 GMT

I had a pretty good weekend. Dan and I went to go see the movie "Cars" with our friends Sarah and Mike. Before that we went to dinner at Champs out at eastwood. I really liked that place, they had a pretty good sized menu and the food was pretty good. "Cars" was a sweet movie! I swear Pixar does the best job on all of those cartoon movies. I was cracking up the whole movie. Then again they have Larry the Cable Guy in it, so how can that go wrong? I would totally see that movie again and I just might.

Sunday we had a family thing at my parents house for fathers day. My dad made steaks which were delicious as always. It's always nice to see the family. Then I came home and just relaxed and watched tv. Is there anything better to do than lay in bed and watch tv on a rainy Sunday? I think not.

I just got a call from Lifetouch today and I have an interview for an administrative assistant position on wednesday. It sounds lame but the ad said it paid like 13.50 an hour! That's pretty sweet. So I figure I'll just go to the interview and see what it's all about. Hopefully something good happens because I really want a job so I can get an apartment. Other than that nothings really going on. Dan and I went to Pocono Pennsylvania last weekend for the Nascar race which was a really good time. I'll post pictures soon so you all can see how awesome it is there.